Golf has been referred to in the past as a good walk, spoiled by the interruptions. Golf has been described in various other ways too, some of the colourful being by the golf widows who only occasionally see their partners return victorious from the course. If this sounds like you, then you may have heard of Jack Nicklaus. He is a world champion at golf, having been voted as Golfer of the Century. Unfortunately it doesn’t appear as though I was nominated for the honour, but then Jack does tend to sink more balls than I do. In fact, mine seem to have an aversion to the little holes scattered across the course, unless of course they have sand in them.

One of the things that Jack is well known for, besides his expertise at playing the game, is his expertise at designing courses as well. All across the world there are golf courses that have his name on them as the designer, and they’re popular not just because of his name, but because they are so well planned to provide a broad, challenging and exciting game of golf for both the professional and the amateur alike. I just discovered recently that there is one place in Spain where an amazing nine courses have been designed by him, and all located together. It’s one of those overseas property resorts, aimed primarily at golfers. With 162 tees to start from, that sounds like a few lost balls for me, and a wonderful experience for anyone who knows their four iron from their putter.

For some reason I always picture other people in these glorious scenarios. Like my well tanned and absurdly happy neighbours who seem to disappear off to exotic locations and come back with tans that make me look whiter than a sheet of paper. I hate my neighbours. They’re lovely people, but it’s people like them, not like me, who get to live that kind of paradise lifestyle. Having said which, I had never really given it serious thought, until I discovered that these overseas property arrangements weren’t just for the absurdly rich, the fragile ancients or both. In fact, because they’ve made such a big thing of the golf, it’s appealing more and more to people like me who enjoy a good game, or more frequently, a dismal one.

I was trying to play a game of golf at my local course recently, and it wasn’t easy. We’d had a lot of rain lately – which isn’t surprising, it’s what we’re known for here. The problem was that the whole course was so waterlogged that I was seriously considering trading in my golf cart for a dinghy. Rowing across to the eighth whilst waving a cheery greeting to some poor soul who’s stranded on the edge of a bunker and looks very much as though he’s Man Friday is not the traditional or preferred style of playing golf. If I liked getting wet I’d have taken up swimming and if I enjoyed getting muddy I’d have taken up rugby.

So with the weather here so dismal, the idea of having nine brand new golf courses all designed by the world’s top golfer, all located together somewhere where it rains sunshine and the only pouring that happens is a glass of Sangria at the nineteenth. I have never considered buying overseas property because of the hassle, but then, thinking about the hassle of coping with the everyday gloom and access to just one or two local golf courses here, upping sticks and taking the plunge just once to benefit from a lifetime of endless golf and warm weather is incredibly tempting. What’s even more tempting is that I hear they’re now offering free trips over there so that you can experience it for yourself. The idea of a weekend in one of these resorts, playing a free round of golf on one of Jack Nicklaus’ designs is something that makes me wonder whether I could become the neighbour that gets the envied looks.

I’ve been aware for a long time that with property prices in this country on the rise that my house would be worth a fair sum. After I started taking these adverts more seriously, and checked out the prices, I couldn’t believe what I could get for my money over there. I could sell my house and buy two luxury apartments in Spain, or a fabulous villa. Straight away I started fantasizing about my own pool somehow, I am starting to like the idea of getting wet, but not due to the rain.

The properties being advertised look fantastic. Of course, almost anywhere looks fantastic if you shove it next to a glorious mountain range, make sure you have a deep blue ocean twinkling excitedly on the other side and bathe the whole lot in an absurd amount of sunshine, but then, that’s the actual location you can expect to live in if you take the plunge. It’s certainly very tempting, and the more I think about it, the more I start to picture myself there. I see myself waking up in the morning with the white cotton curtains fluttering gaily in the cool morning breeze as I dance towards the windows and look out across another world. I don’t tend to dance much in the morning; I sort of lurch about a bit and stagger in a confused daze, but somehow I see myself dancing in Spain. It’s funny how a little thing like sunshine and sea can change you.

That free trip to try things out is very tempting, and I suppose I have nothing to lose. If all else fails, I’ll get a free trip to Spain, and a good game of golf. Well, as good as my game of golf is ever likely to get. My only handicap is myself. The adverts and brochures all used to see aimed at people who were retiring to Spain, or had bags of spare cash to invest, but today companies like Polaris World seem to be aiming more at people like me as well. Ordinary people who want something more than just damp, cold gloom. I like the idea of getting up in the morning and looking forward to a game of golf, rather than wondering if the weather will be good enough to let me make a dash to the car. The adverts certainly make the whole process sound easy. You never know, I might even bump into Jack as he designs his tenth course there. Maybe he’ll give me a few tips. Maybe I’ll give him some too. Maybe.